Small things

It's been a long time since I know you
a long time since I liked you
...
a couple of days ago, someone started liking you
pretty serious
and started showing it to you
I was there, watching
I thought to myself
if this happens, I'd be sad
...
Then I felt weird
why would I feel sad...
do I like you that much? I never thought so
...
Nothing happened
you stopped it.
and you told me that you did that.
...
I feel better now

It's Sunday morning,
We could have been to the Waterfront,
having a lovely Brunch.
Instead,
I woke up here, to a phone call from home,
took a long shower,
made a bowl of oatmeal,
and wrote this.
You,
I don't know.

I miss you

It rains as if it's never gonna stop.
It is not a cold cold rain.
We could have gone wild playing under it, but we don't.
We just simply don't.


I feel lonely,
wish you were here...

I'd give my all...

Saturday afternoon,
group meetings, project presentations
final project reports
take home exams due dates
...
And you're the only thing on my mind...

Life

I dance silently with the music
it's about a lover praising his beloved
I dance with it on my tiptoes
I turn and turn and turn
I think of you
I pause
I sit
I change the song.

Fact 2

Great! stress and worries bring me physical pain...
Heartburns, I feel your sharp needles...

Fact 1

Those who die, are released
and happy
those who witness someone's departure
will suffer...

Gone with the wave

When you doubt everything,
everyone, every feeling, every action
and you don't have any one to turn to
to hold on
you break: internally.
And there is no remedy for the scar.
You may sooth the pain later,
and move on,
but that wound is still there,
and if you run out of the painkiller,
you feel the pain just like the very first moment
and you feel that your heart is being squeezed
by the strongest fist you've known...
and then you want to scream,
and you cannot...
Then the pain increases
it builds up to beyond your tolerance
so much that you let it go,
you become indifferent to the pain,
just to survive...
Although you wish you'd die
and you'd be gone
there is this weird tendency to survive
and to overcome the battle...
maybe a buried trace of hope
for the goodness after this
but
only the ones who come out from the other side
know that nothing will be the same ever again
and you wish you were gone...

Then you think of leaving
you think of the ocean
that welcoming mass of water
you think of the moment
when it embraces you all over
like no one has ever did
when you'll float
like the time you were a fetus
and you think of that silence
that solitude
that comfort
and you'll finally rest...

a walk under the clouds

I wish I had a backpack
in which I could put all the memories
all the streets, alleys
all the people I love
and I could carry it around with me

so, when there come moments like now,
I could have had a short walk in those alleys
and cure the pain... the heartburn...

the word

Here I am,
on this side of the planet,
thinking about the other...

I saw a wild dream the other night:
It was a road that was served for city's light rail transportation and cars
We were in the back seats of a van, looking back...
and a train was coming towards us,
and it got out or its tracks
and crashed, coming towards us
...
I survived, with another friend
he went to ask for help
and I went the other direction
two Asian workers in a restaurant said they'd help
but then they wanted to rape me
and I woke up...

P.S. I know, I need a shrink.

I don't want an extra blanket
or a heater...
It's time to enjoy cool spring nights
next to a warm body.

These sheets are cold...

Standing Ovation

Curve:  The loveliest distance between two points.  

~Mae West