Scented air

There are days like today, that I wish time would stop, and the world to pause, like a motion freeze scene in a movie, so that I could run all the way to your office and find you. So that I could hold you in my arms for a few moments, rest my head on your shoulder and promise myself that a good day will come, when I have the courage to tell you that I care for you, that you've been on my mind all this time; A good day when I am not afraid any more. Then, when my heart is comforted again, I'll run back to this cube, behind this L-shaped desk and let the world move on again, hoping you'll notice my perfume in the air...

Confessions

I lied when I said it doesn't hurt.

Gloomy Sunday

It's May 1st. The trees are in bloom, and the tulips are all open, yet it is still a bit cold here. I walked into a room on Saturday and met someone. I talked to him, watched him speak, and spend the whole day with him and the rest of the group. He was attractive, and calm, with pretty green eyes. I thought to myself, how come I never noticed green eyes can be so beautiful...
We were away, and he gave me a ride back to town. We talked. And I smiled, as much as you can on the first work meeting with a coworker without being rude or flirtatious. He asked some questions, many of them personal, and I was reminding myself to stop daydreaming about him. That he is not interested in me in that sense, he is just simply curious.
I see many attractive guys, neither of them attract me. I might consider them for a physical relation at most, but that is it. I hardly feel my heart beating faster and harder, and I don't feel at ease about it nowadays. I like to have someone in my life, someone who is here to stay, and won't walk away with my heart in his hand. I can't accept that someone will be trustworthy and I have no clue how someone is going to convince me to trust them. All I know is that it will happen, and I'd know they are right by instinct.
I came to my room, thinking that I'd like to fall in love again. I like to spend warm weekends with someone special. I love to watch myself falling for someone, with each laughter, each gesture, each smile. Opened my laptop, sent a thank you email to the group, and added them on LinkedIn. Then updated my FaceBook status: Today could have had our first kiss. Today is so wasted...